Bedtime Routines for Kids
by Angela
The screaming, the yelling, the tears; who doesn’t love bedtime? Be it one last glass of water or one more story, little ones will find any excuse to try to stay up. Bedtime is one of the most trying rituals of the day. Everybody, including Mom and Dad are tired and cranky and patience is in short supply. With a schedule tailor-made for your family, nighttime can become a bonding time.
I have 3 children who are ten, seven, and four. Each one has different needs. I think part of the key to bedtime success is taking age and temperament into consideration. For example, if your child is an easy going, relaxed type of person the nighttime ritual will probably match their daytime attitude. A warm bath or shower, followed by a story or quiet conversation will, more than likely be an ideal situation for that type of child. On the other hand, if the child in question is more active and full of energy, more calm time with you may be necessary. Trying extra cuddles starting about an hour before the appropriate time may be helpful in getting the energy filled child to sleep.
As I mentioned before, age obviously plays a huge part in bedtime. My ten-year old is fairly easy to send to bed. He has a shower, talks with his father and me, and heads to bed on his own. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. I have noticed that if he is upset about something unusual going on his life, suddenly he needs a drink of water or to go to the bathroom. He will even come and tell me he can’t sleep. These changes can be events like starting the basketball team or an upcoming holiday, which are happy times or the loss of a family friend, or a large school project he is nervous about. When these things occur, I try to remember that adults have trouble sleeping for very similar reasons. With this age groups growing awareness of the world around them it only stands to reason that having trouble falling asleep will follow. My best advice of this is to be patient and cut the child a little slack. Allow some flexibility and let them talk to you about what’s on their mind. Just knowing that someone else shares the burden could make all the difference in the world.
The seven-year old is completely different. This one goes to bed without any help from me. He has been that way since he was 3 months old. I know you’re thinking, “Good for you, my child doesn’t do that.” I sympathize; believe me. Dealing with a child like this at bedtime is fairly easy. He already has a sense of when he needs to sleep and will tell you he needs to go to bed because he is cranky. His routine at night is like his brother’s. A shower and talking about his day is all he really seems to need. From a in the trenches mom point of view, children with these habits should be allowed to do their own thing. Why fix it if it isn’t broke? Pay attention to any changes in nighttime behavior though. Don’t let the quiet ones fall through the cracks. They may need to talk out some anxiety too.
My daughter, who is four going on fourteen, has a deathly fear of missing something. Everyone is familiar with the busy bee. When she was still an infant the doctor told me he was sorry, but some children just don’t need as much sleep as others. He wasn’t kidding about that. To this day, it still takes an hour or more to get my daughter to sleep. We rock and sit in the dark. I rub her back; nothing seems to work until she decides she is ready. If you are coping with a child like this, you have my full understanding. Other than doing your best to find a routine that fits the child, from experience options are limited. Set a reasonable bedtime and stick to it as often as possible. We have tried to be flexible with her and let her set the pace to a degree. Stay firm to your rules and cooperative of their needs. Most children find their own schedule eventually.
Younger children and babies are a whole other ballgame. Like most aspects of parenting, it is a trial and error process. None of my children ever liked being put to bed the same way. You can try the darkened room or being cuddled close to Mom or Dad. Soft classical music can be of help with some little ones. My oldest son still listens to classical as he goes to sleep. With the littlest ones do whatever is comfortable to them and gradually introduce more independent habits.
“This too shall pass.” They won’t be little for long. As frustrating as bedtime with children is, there will come a day when they don’t want your comfort and hugs anymore. I personally live in fear of that day. Be patient and firm, but loving. Of all things, children respond best to knowing what to expect and love.
The screaming, the yelling, the tears; who doesn’t love bedtime? Be it one last glass of water or one more story, little ones will find any excuse to try to stay up. Bedtime is one of the most trying rituals of the day. Everybody, including Mom and Dad are tired and cranky and patience is in short supply. With a schedule tailor-made for your family, nighttime can become a bonding time.
I have 3 children who are ten, seven, and four. Each one has different needs. I think part of the key to bedtime success is taking age and temperament into consideration. For example, if your child is an easy going, relaxed type of person the nighttime ritual will probably match their daytime attitude. A warm bath or shower, followed by a story or quiet conversation will, more than likely be an ideal situation for that type of child. On the other hand, if the child in question is more active and full of energy, more calm time with you may be necessary. Trying extra cuddles starting about an hour before the appropriate time may be helpful in getting the energy filled child to sleep.
As I mentioned before, age obviously plays a huge part in bedtime. My ten-year old is fairly easy to send to bed. He has a shower, talks with his father and me, and heads to bed on his own. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. I have noticed that if he is upset about something unusual going on his life, suddenly he needs a drink of water or to go to the bathroom. He will even come and tell me he can’t sleep. These changes can be events like starting the basketball team or an upcoming holiday, which are happy times or the loss of a family friend, or a large school project he is nervous about. When these things occur, I try to remember that adults have trouble sleeping for very similar reasons. With this age groups growing awareness of the world around them it only stands to reason that having trouble falling asleep will follow. My best advice of this is to be patient and cut the child a little slack. Allow some flexibility and let them talk to you about what’s on their mind. Just knowing that someone else shares the burden could make all the difference in the world.
The seven-year old is completely different. This one goes to bed without any help from me. He has been that way since he was 3 months old. I know you’re thinking, “Good for you, my child doesn’t do that.” I sympathize; believe me. Dealing with a child like this at bedtime is fairly easy. He already has a sense of when he needs to sleep and will tell you he needs to go to bed because he is cranky. His routine at night is like his brother’s. A shower and talking about his day is all he really seems to need. From a in the trenches mom point of view, children with these habits should be allowed to do their own thing. Why fix it if it isn’t broke? Pay attention to any changes in nighttime behavior though. Don’t let the quiet ones fall through the cracks. They may need to talk out some anxiety too.
My daughter, who is four going on fourteen, has a deathly fear of missing something. Everyone is familiar with the busy bee. When she was still an infant the doctor told me he was sorry, but some children just don’t need as much sleep as others. He wasn’t kidding about that. To this day, it still takes an hour or more to get my daughter to sleep. We rock and sit in the dark. I rub her back; nothing seems to work until she decides she is ready. If you are coping with a child like this, you have my full understanding. Other than doing your best to find a routine that fits the child, from experience options are limited. Set a reasonable bedtime and stick to it as often as possible. We have tried to be flexible with her and let her set the pace to a degree. Stay firm to your rules and cooperative of their needs. Most children find their own schedule eventually.
Younger children and babies are a whole other ballgame. Like most aspects of parenting, it is a trial and error process. None of my children ever liked being put to bed the same way. You can try the darkened room or being cuddled close to Mom or Dad. Soft classical music can be of help with some little ones. My oldest son still listens to classical as he goes to sleep. With the littlest ones do whatever is comfortable to them and gradually introduce more independent habits.
“This too shall pass.” They won’t be little for long. As frustrating as bedtime with children is, there will come a day when they don’t want your comfort and hugs anymore. I personally live in fear of that day. Be patient and firm, but loving. Of all things, children respond best to knowing what to expect and love.
posted by Lisa at 5:06 PM
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