New Reviews up

I have posted reviews of two companies that save me money and I use often: Netlix and AllAboardToys.com.

Why is Mom the Kid-Magnet?

So, last Sunday, I had a lot of studying to do. My husband was home for the morning and promised to watch our preschooler for me so I could get it done. I started out in the bedroom, reading my operating systems book on the bed. John (my husband) was making breakfast for Joe (my son). Joe starts out in the living room but then gravitates back to the bedroom. He was good - I'll give him that. He asked me to read him a Thomas book and when I explained to him I couldn't, he sat right next to me on the bed and read it himself for a very long time (relative 2.5 year old time).

Then, after breakfast I went out in the living room with earplugs and sat on the couch to study. John and Joe were carving a pumpkin. Somehow, John continued carving at the table and Joe ended up sitting on my feet with me paying him no attention and John trying every trick in the book to get his attention.

Why?

John says Joe never velcroes himself to him when I am not home. So it's just a mommy thing. John is an extrememly involved and loving father, and he and Joe are very close, so it surprises me that it is just me.

Perils of TV

So, yesterday, my 2 and a half year old watches, what I consider to be the most benign show on tv, Little Bear. And in this episode (I didn't see it but my husband recounted it to me later) the North Wind was fighting with Little Bear's father.

Of course, it happens to be windy at our house that day. And of course, my son suddenly becomes terrified of the wind. We even had an incident where I thought he was being obstinate (he hit the side of my car with a bucket full of lizards (whole nother story) and wouldn't do what I told him to) and then he hit me when I picked him up to take him to his room. He spent several minutes screaming in his room. Boy didn't I feel bad later when I figured out he had actually been terrified.

So, I made up this big thing about how it wasn't the scary North Wind, it was the friendly East Wind saying "Hi Joe". That didn't work. Today he seems OK. But then it's not windy today.

Fantastic Parenting Articles

Have I mentioned this page of parenting articles yet? I'm not real big on parenting articles - I find most of the mainstream ones to be dull, unimaginative, not practical, and just geared toward a lower intelligence than mine. Plus, they don't seem to offer useable advice.

Anyway, these are really good. I haven't read them all yet, but I really like the ones I have read. The "what to do when siblings hit eachother" article is gold - and such a great idea! I rave about it, and my boy is still an only child! Anyway, read them. You'll like them. They're under articles.

Great Article on Relationship Arguments

Ten Ways to Avoid Parental Arguing


As soon as my wife said it, I could feel the tension.

My "trigger point" had been hit, and an argument was waiting to happen.

But our kids happened to be in the same room. And if you listen to the experts on parental conflict, you learn that arguing in front of the kids is something to avoid.

"Many parents think that kids get used to parents' arguing, but that is not true," says Mona El-Sheikh, a psychology faculty member at Auburn University, who researches how aggression between parents affects children. El-Sheikh says most parents don't understand the damage they can do to their child if they argue frequently, and the child can hear or see. "Many parents think that children will understand that parent's are just letting off steam, or that the child will not remember, but that is not true," she says. "Kids who are exposed to repeated conflict are sensitized to arguments, not desensitized."

And while arguments can be done with less anger and more negotiation, most arguments do your kids a great disservice.

To limit the arguing you have in front of your kids, here are some ideas:

1. Be concerned with being kind more than being right If you're kind to your spouse and treat them well, you'll experience fewer arguments.

2. Develop the fine art of keeping your mouth closed There will be many occasions when you'll want to respond to a comment your spouse has made, and an argument is waiting to happen. Take a hard swallow, and notice that no argument
occurs.

3. Talk with your spouse about making the effort to avoid arguments
Have a specific plan in place you both agree on when things gets tense. If you know you're both committed to improving, it's easier to stay committed.

4. Raise your own standards
What kind of person do you really want to be? In view of how useless arguing is, wouldn't you rather hold yourself to a high standard, and spend time doing something else?

5. Just walk away from the argument
Walking away allows you some time to gather your thoughts and to cool down. When your perspective is better, you can continue the discussion from a more objective place.

6. Date your spouse regularly
A lot of arguments result from things that haven't been fully explored. It's crucial to have a way to stay up to date, and create rituals that have the two of you talking. Make the time sacred.

7. Bend the truth now and again
If it's between being honest and being kind with your spouse, be kind every time! You can tell her the dinner is awful when she asks, but you increase the chances of
conflict. Smile, and tell her it's delicious.

8. Compliment your spouse twice a day
One of the major reasons for arguments between couples is that people don't feel acknowledged. Acknowledge your spouse regularly, and they'll feel appreciated. Appreciated people are less likely to argue.

9. Know your triggers around arguing
Familiarize yourself with what comments and situations trigger your anger and argumentative behavior. What are these about? When do they occur? Learn how you can avoid getting trapped in the future.

10. Make yourself accountable for your arguments
Have other family members hold you accountable for your behavior. Tell them your working on improving, and would they please remind you if you're starting to argue again. This puts some teeth behind your commitment.

Ultimately, we choose whether we argue in front of our kids. Shall we think about winning the argument, or should we think about them?

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to
balance their life and improve their family relationships.
For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks,
courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to
http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at
mark@markbrandenburg.com.




Lisa's Comments

I love this guys articles. He is always so ... right! and he gives such sound advice in ways that facilitate steps toward improvement. I wish he had been my dad.

Anyway, I can definitely attest to the fact that frequent parental arguments sensitizes a child (who will someday be an adult) to arguments. I sometimes even have to turn off the talk radio because the host and the caller arguing raises my anxiety level so much.

This one will get printed out and put on my fridge.

Homemade Halloween Costume Ideas For Children

By Nicole Dean
You can find a large variety of Halloween costumes available at stores in your neighborhood. However, when you consider the cost and lack of originality, homemade costumes are a more fun and oftentimes more cost-effective option. Plus, if you involve your children in creating the homemade costumes, the results will be worth more than any store-bought costume in any store.

Here are some inexpensive, homemade Halloween costume ideas that will cost little money and show lots of imagination.

Scarecrow: An over-sized flannel shirt, some straw, and faded jeans with patches will make a great scarecrow. Stuff the jeans and shirt with plastic grocery bags and leave a little straw hanging out of the shirt and jeans. A little makeup will complete your scarecrow costume.

Ghost: Ghosts are an old stand-by that never goes out of style. Use an old white sheet with holes cut for the eyes and sew a simple treat bag out of a scrap of material or a worn out pillow case. You can dress your ghost up a bit by making lips out of red lipstick and a few false eyelashes. Or you could color a beard and moustache with markers. You may want to create a colorful ghost by using a sheet covered with polka dots or one that is brightly colored.

Clown: You can create a great clown with sweat clothes that are a bit to large decorated with fabric paint or markers. Sew on some pom poms, use an inexpensive wig with a large, colorful hat, and you could even stuff the clothing with tissue (although the tissue will be a problem if the need for a restroom break arises).

Hippy: You can become a hippy from the 1960s with a tie-dye shirt and faded jeans with holes in the knees. Combine this with a headband, a ponytail wig, and a jacket or vest covered in fringe and you will have the most authentic looking hippy costume of all time.

Nerd: Halloween is the time to dress like something completely out of character. You can dress your child as a typical nerd, complete with white shirt, pocket protectors, pants that are too short, horn-rimmed glasses, while socks and black dress shoes. Don't forget to tape one corner of the glasses for a true nerd appearance. Make sure you use plenty of hair gel to slick back the hair and a few overly large fake teeth will be a great addition.

Soda Can: Find an inexpensive plastic barrel and cut a hole in the bottom. Paint the entire barrel the colors and design of your favorite brand of soda in a can. With holes for arms and your head, a simple barrel can transform your child into a soda can.

Your child can be the hit of your block or at the neighborhood Halloween party if you use a little imagination and create special homemade costumes out of inexpensive, household items.

Like the commercials say "The memory of your child in a costume you made together"... priceless.

About the Author: For money-saving tips, don't miss Frugal Mom Tips . And, if you’re a mom who likes to have fun with your children, visit http://www.ShowKidsTheFun.com

Lisa's Comments
Well, my child is still too young to appreciate any of these ideas, but we already got him a costume. We ordered a Thomas the Tank Engine Costume from AllAboardToys.com .

We ordered the one that is just like a big sweatshirt. I saw the one that is 3D - like an actual train the child wears with suspenders, but I didn't think my boy would want to wear that one. He might want to play with it and look at it, and maybe wear it for a second, but not longer than that - too bulky and strange for a young one.

New Blog Focus

I am going to drop the family vacation contest aspect of this blog and just focus on updates to the site and news as it relates to my life and this site with a toddler - preschooler- etc. The main page is also now more reflective of a personal focus on my life and how I keep my son busy and happy.